Saturday, November 12, 2005

Hurts

My friend's mother died today.

She had a heart attack, was on the mend, and then died. I don't know the details of it, but I know how much my friend is hurting right now.

My mom died 7 and a half years ago. And it still hurts, every day. And I wish there was something I could do for my friend. My heart aches to know that she has to go through this, because it's so hard. So very hard.

I know that she is angry because she is here, in France, and wasn't there with her mom. That seems to be often the issue with expats--that they feel guilty and angry because they aren't physically there when something bad happens at home. I was angry that I was home across town, and not at the hospital, when Mom died. But it doesn't matter, it really wouldn't have made anything better. We need a reason to be angry because we are angry.

Because she's gone.

And no matter where you are or what you do, you are powerless. And in pain.

And it hurts.

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