Thursday, May 11, 2006

Her Wedding Gown

My sister is getting married, which means (since she is of my blood) that she is busy planning and perusing and shopping and looking around and thinking and note-taking and researching and just generally trying to find a way to make her and his big day exactly as she would like it to be. Back when I got married, waaaaaaaaayyyy back in 1996, I did the same thing. I had definite ideas about how I wanted our day to be, and spent a year and a half planning every detail (including a shouting match over the napkins, I kid you not) until it was the way I had always wanted it, since before I met Mr. Right (in fact, since before I met Ms. Puberty, even.) Though we have different ideas about dream weddings, I know that my sister will enjoy the planning process and all that it entails.

We lost our Mom about 8 years ago, and since then I had planned to be the one to go with Roxy to find the elusive dress. I imagined us laughing over the ugly ones, dressing her up in the pretty ones, and searching high and low for the one that was "just right", as my Mom did with me. Since I live in Paris and she lives in Minneapolis, this is, unfortunately, not going to happen the way I thought it would. A trip there is a bit out of our price-range for a shopping trip, no matter how special it would be.

So, instead I sit at my laptop, surfing some of the sites she suggested, and sending images back and forth through email. "Do you like this one?" "This is really pretty!" "I didn't think I'd like something like this, but I think I do. Is that weird?" and so forth.

Styles have changed since the mid-90's, but the quest hasn't. Though the poofy sleeved, butt-bowed, high necked satin monstrosities are for the most part gone, they have been replaced with some equally ugly confections in different styles, and all seem to have something about them that's just, um, wrong. The bridesmaid dresses, though now simpler than they were "in my day", are still not something you would want to wear a second time. Unless you like wearing really unflattering, cheap-looking clothing, that is.

However, I must say that today's bridal fashions have definitely got something on the ones from the days surrounding my wedding. In fact, I don't think I've ever quite seen something as, um, well, different as these.

But you know, I do live in Paris, which calls itself the Couture Capital of the World. "Couture" is the french word for "Sewing" (once again, I kid you not.) However, when a dress is labeled "couture", it doesn't mean "it's been sewn!"--no, rather, "it costs waaaaaaaaayyyy too much!"

This doesn't necessarily mean that it's beautiful or will make you look beautiful. Nor does it mean that it is new, fresh and modern. Exhibit A: For the Confederate Modern Bride of 1863 2006.

I think we've got a lot of work ahead of us.



At 7:19 PM, May 11, 2006, Anonymous The Bold Soul said...

I always thought it would be totally cool to wear a red dress at my wedding (although not that particular red dress). I mean, let's get real -- I'm 45 and clearly past the point of anyone thinking I should wear a big poofy white gown and a virginal veil. That ship has long since sailed.

By the way, if your sister can get a wireless phone with camera and the ability to transmit photos from the phone via internet, she CAN "take you with her" on her dress-shopping excursions and you can see her in the dresses, talk with her about them "live" in the store and help her choose one!

Or, fly her over to Paris so she can buy a Parisian wedding gown!

At 8:19 PM, May 11, 2006, Blogger Gina said...

Sounds like you two have some planning ahead. When I got married I will never forget my soon to be father-in-law telling me the night before the wedding "to enjoy the day". I shook my head in excitement saying "you bet". He continued to look at me and say..."no matter what goes wrong, remember to enjoy the day". I asked him what would go wrong and he said, "well I don't know but something will and don't allow it to ruin the day". His words were true. Even after all the planning and preparation, the day of my wedding someone forgot to put out the wine and bread for the communion. A mad search ensued for communion while the ministers were saying their blessings, all the while unknown to us(the bride and groom). When I found out, I heard my father-in-laws words in my head and started giggling as did my husband. All turned out well inspite of the fact that diet pepsi and day old bread had to be used for the communion.

I was searching the web on how I could better achieve many of my life's dreams and came upon your site. I found another site that has helped me tremendously and thought you and your readers might be interested. The site is by Marcia Wieder. is the site. She is also giving away a maui dream retreat that I think would be the perfect place to renew, rejuvinate, restore, and set attainable goals!! Our world is changing so much that I am convinced the only way we can be successful and happy is to find our passion. Marcia helps in not only finding our passion but setting attainable goals to achieve our life dreams.

Thank you for sharing and for bringing back such good memories for me. And, share with your sister that something will go wrong, but not to allow it to ruin the day but to stay focused on enjoying the event, the union, the celebration. My wedding was 17 years ago and I think it was a good thing that we were able to laugh at a time that could have made us nervous and tense.

May your day be filled richly with blessings and joy!


At 10:52 AM, May 12, 2006, Blogger ~steph~ said...

I may be wrong, but thought I heard you and J were moving back to ND in Sept? When is she planning the wedding for? next summer? Hopefully, you can get in a shopping day or two in the fall with her! I had my dress made...was exactly what I wanted! If I ever find a decent man to marry again (see my post with an all points bulletin for a nice, decent guy!!), think a laid back on the beach type wedding would be great!...hopefully the family can attend! Wouldn't that be fun? The Lindberg clan all on a beach in the Carribean?! Fruity drinks with umbrellas? mmmmmmmm! oh ya bebe!

At 2:30 PM, May 12, 2006, Blogger Mel said...

Hey... Rox's friend here!

Looking forward to Rox's wedding (and getting to meet you!)... I promise to hold her hand and pretend I am you when we look at dresses (did she tell you about the first time we tried to look?)

And as a married woman... I can understand all the preparation and such... the last couple days before hand were such a scramble.


At 1:54 AM, May 13, 2006, Blogger La Rêveuse said...


Don't know where we'll be, whether France or back in the US. No plans set in concrete yet, that's just Jean's wishful thinking ;). But actually, Rock and Josh haven't set a date yet, and are planning on marrying in the Caribbean anyway. So it will have to be some sort of dress that goes with sandals!

At 3:09 PM, May 13, 2006, Blogger traveller one said...

You have a lovely blog! I'm adding you to my blogroll and I'll be back often!


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